When faced with adversity, how do you respond?

Roasted coffee beans.

Roasted coffee beans. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes, those forwarded emails you receive have relevant messages.  I like the message in this one:

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.  Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.  Soon the pots came to a boil.  In the first pot she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and in the third she placed ground coffee beans.  She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

After about 15 minutes she turned off the burners.  She fished the carrots out of the water and placed them in a bowl.  She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.  Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”

“Carrots, eggs and coffee” she replied.  Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.  She did and noticed they were soft.  The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.  After pulling off the shell she observed the hard-boiled egg.  Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.  The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water.  Each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting.  However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile.  Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting in the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter.  “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?  Think of this: Which am I?  Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?  Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart but changes with the heat?  Did I have a fluid spirit but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?  Does my shell look the same but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.  When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?  How do you handle adversity?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.  The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.  The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.  Live your life so at the end you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Do you know who your friends are?

As I venture out to do some different things with my career and try to give flight to some of my long-held dreams, I was excited to come across the following story I first encountered years ago.  I am a fan of John Maxwell.  What follows is an excerpt from his book Your Roadmap For Success:

When you’re trying to realize your dream, sometimes you’ll be surprised by which people want to light your fire and which ones want to put it out.  Let me tell you a humorous story that vividly illustrates this point.

A Canadian bird decided that it was too much trouble to fly south for the winter.  He said to himself: “I can brave winter.  A lot of other animals do it.  It just can’t be that hard.”  So as all the other birds flocked away toward sunny South America, he stayed behind and waited for winter.

By the end of November, he was having serious second thoughts.  He had never been so cold, and he couldn’t find any food.  Finally, he broke down and realized that if he didn’t get out of there soon, he wasn’t going to make it.  So he started flying south all by himself.  After a while, it began to rain.  And before he knew it, the water was turning to ice on his wings.  Struggling, he recognized that he couldn’t fly any longer.  He knew he was about to die so he glided down and made his last landing, crashing to the ground in a barnyard.

As he lay there stunned, a cow came by, stepped over him and dropped a plop right on him.  He was totally disgusted.  Here I am, he thought, freezing to death.  I’m about to die.  I’m on my last breath, and then this!  What an awful way to go.

So then the bird held his breath and prepared himself to die.  But after about two minutes, he discovered a miracle was happening: He was warming up.  The ice on his wings was melting.  His muscles were thawing out.  His blood was flowing again.  He realized that he was going to make it after all.  He got so excited and happy that he began to sing a glorious song.

At that moment, the farm’s old tomcat was lying in the hayloft in the barn and he heard the bird singing.  He couldn’t believe it; he hadn’t heard anything like it for months, and he said to himself, “Is that a bird?  I thought they’d all gone south for the winter.”

He came out of the barn, and lo and behold, there was the bird.  The cat crossed over to where he was, pulled him gently out of the cow plop, cleaned him off – and ate him.

There are three morals to this story: 1) Not everyone that drops a plop on you is your enemy; 2) not everyone who takes a plop off you is your friend; and 3) if somebody does drop a plop on you, keep your mouth shut.  The same can be true for you as you realize your dream.  Some people you consider friends will fight your success.  Others will support you in ways you didn’t expect.  But no matter which people criticize you or how they do it, don’t let them take your focus off your dream.

Now you know…

There is an important lesson in this story about speaking up when you have the chance.  Otherwise, it could be too late.

In the beginning was the plan;

And then came the assumptions.

And the assumptions were without form.

And the plan was completely without substance.

And the darkness was upon the face of the workers.

And they spoke amongst themselves saying:

“It is a crock of shit and it stinketh.”

And the workers went unto their supervisors and sayeth:

“It is a pail of dung and none can endure the odor thereof.”

And the supervisors went unto their managers and sayeth:

“It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that no one may abide by it.”

And the managers went unto their directors and sayeth:

“It is a vessel of fertilizer and no one can stand its strength.”

And the directors spoke among themselves, one to the other:

“It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong.”

And the directors went unto the vice presidents and sayeth to them:

“It promotes growth and is very powerful.”

And the vice presidents went unto the president and sayeth to him:

“This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this

company and these areas in particular.”

And the president looked upon the plan

And saw that it was good and the plan became policy.

THIS IS HOW SHIT HAPPENS

To get the job would you do this?

This is by far one of my all-time favorite recruiting stories.

Years ago, a co-worker was working to fill several administrative positions.  Part of her responsibility was to verify the information a candidate would enter on their application.  It was common for her to ask candidates to send in copies of their high-school or college diplomas as a way to verify their education.

One day she stopped by my cube and handed me a fax and with a big grin on her face asked “does anything look out-of-place to you?”  It was a copy of a high-school diploma.  The copy was a bit grainy but it was still fairly easy to read.  I read it three times before I finally started to believe what I was reading.

Keep in mind that a candidate was submitting this document as proof of their high-school graduation.  It had not one…not two…but three typos on it.  I must say, it was quite an accomplishment to pack so many typos in a document that had so little verbiage.

As if that wasn’t significant enough, the signature for the district’s superintendent was not the correct name.  It was fairly common knowledge who the superintendent was because that particular school district was in the news a lot and they were currently on the hunt for a new superintendent.

To this day I still do not know what would possess someone to submit a document like that.  I understand there are some people who are willing to lie, cheat or steal.  But in this case, if they are willing to falsify employment documentation, don’t you think they would have someone look it over?  I guess that story ended the way it should have.  Cleary, my co-worker passed on the opportunity to hire this individual.

A Wise Man

Albrecht Dürer - The Adoration of the Wise Man...

Albrecht Dürer – The Adoration of the Wise Man – WGA7111 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A wise man knows how unreliable his wisdom is.

A wise man knows that pride can lead to either honor or shame.

A wise man steers his ambition as if it were a dozer through a schoolyard.

A wise man is conscious that each moment is a passing gift from God.

A wise man is ready to stand alone yet acts in counsel.

A wise man is angered by injustice or evil but submits his anger to the rule of law.

A wise man trusts a wounded bear more than his appetites.

A wise man values character above success.

A wise man will guard his mind as if it were his daughter.

A wise man knows how fickle fame is, how vain is notoriety.

A wise man labors and builds knowing that it will return to dust.

A wise man is ever conscious of the presence of God.

A wise man will pray as a first resort.

A wise man loves one woman as if it were his sole appointment for eternity.

A wise man will father children and then train them as if they were God’s.

A wise man will alleviate the suffering of others but never mention his own.

A wise man will utilize his past mistakes as signposts for the future.

A wise man will love and live each day as if it were his last.

– Author unknown

Simplify

A very good friend of mine shared this list with me years ago.  It’s an important list and I thought you would appreciate it as well.  It hits the mark and helps you keep first things first.

Walden Pond

Walden Pond (Photo credit: qwrrty)

The angels say “Never borrow from the future.  If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain.  Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.”

Rules to live by –

1)      Pray

2)     Go to bed on time

3)     Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed

4)     Say no to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your medical health

5)     Delegate tasks to capable others

6)     Simplify and unclutter your life

7)     Less is more (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many)

8)     Allow extra time to do things and to get to places

9)     Pace yourself.  Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together

10)   Take one day at a time

11)    Separate your worries from concerns.  If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety.  If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it

12)   Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases

13)   Have backups – an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps

14)   K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut).  This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble

15)   Do something for the kid in you every day

16)   Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line

17)   Get enough rest

18)   Eat right

19)   Get organized so everything has its place

20) Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life

21)  Write down thoughts and inspirations

22) Every day find time to be alone

23) Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try to pray

24) Make friends with Godly people

25) Keep a folder of favorite scriptures  on hand

26) Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good “Thank you God.”

27) Laugh

28) Laugh some more

29) Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all

30) Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can)